Onanism

The self-described “visual anthropologist” travels to the most remote corners of the planet to capture luscious images of the indigenous in all of their splendor. I had the faint memory so I start digging & find something that makes my hair stand on end.

Be the fruit of creation & create fruition. If a hobby is an activity pursued for pleasure, then masturbation is perhaps the hobby most of humanity shares. Though the prevalence of masturbation varies by age, most men & women in all age groups say they do it, & the majority of Americans of both genders continue to indulge at least up to age 60. But contrary to what you might think about handsy adolescents, today’s most frequent masturbators are between the ages of 25 & 29 — a group in the relationship stage of their lives. Born not long after Betty Dodson published her revolutionary masturbation how-to Sex for One (the 85-year-old leads female-masturbation workshops to this day), they were raised solidly in an age of sex-positive feminism, easily accessible erotica, & general sexual openness & transparency. For the benefit of our moral compass, dishonesty in advertising proves unprofitable.

Not that the role of masturbation unraveling body language is entirely clear. On the one hand, pioneers like Dodson have helped to align sexuality with self-empowerment, which has taught us to think of masturbation as a healthy element of a diverse sexual menu as opposed to a shameful, inadequate substitute. “Even if I had all the men in the world that I wanted in my bed, even if I had Ryan Gosling, I would still masturbate with sex toys,” says French sex columnist Maïa Mazaurette recently. “I’d loathe Earth without plastic!”

Tis impossible to remove the embargo from the fundamental sigh without a flurry of LOLs. Perhaps true love is being comfortable enough not only to fart, but to have slovenly orgasms on the sofa while your boyfriend is watching Game of Thrones.

i-wanna-play-pocket-pool-but-i-cant-reach-it

On the other hand, pun intended, masturbation is inherently antisocial. Within the bounds of a relationship defined, in part, by both partners’ willingness to devote sexual energy to one another, it can be downright rude. Can we ever really get over the embarrassment of purely personal indulgence? Or take the indulgence of your partner as anything other than a rejection of you? Even if we want to be open, practically & emotionally, exposing deeply private habits to anyone — even the one you love — is reflexively uncomfortable. And hearing your girlfriend rev up her vibrator after saying she’s going to sleep early can be hard to shake. Just because everyone’s doing it doesn’t mean that the negotiations won’t be awkward or that the concessions will be easy to get used to.

Language is Liquid Infrastructure

Why is the alphabet in that order? Consider the authority of historical texts before the advent of these pop grammar rules. All authoritative sources agree grammar is nonsense. Ending a sentence with a preposition, the ongoing confusion with less vs. fewer, or use of the singular they is ensconced in the public eye.

Grammar, taught in school & universities & inevitably violated, magically pulled out of thin air by a handful of 18th & 19th century prescriptive grammarians, somehow gained a superficial, high prestige status among the public & are repeated as fact ad nauseam. Blindly railing against these fictional grammatical horrors is a simple case of language change denial.

All of these sources have reached an uncontroversial consensus about the folk grammar rules that are still in heavy rotation today & that is they are frequently broken by respected sources. What on earth are these rules describing then? It seems these sources are not cheekily ‘breaking’ these never to be broken grammar rules, but simply using English correctly. Whether or not these invented rules ever had a place in the language, whether they ever described actual usage by speakers, they certainly do not really tell us how the English language is being used today.

What we have here is a contemporary situation in which most serious researchers agree on certain facts & trends, based on observable data over time, yet some persist in perpetuating an unsubstantiated myth from the last century. Grammar police or grammar naziism? Both.

Historical record shows we were breaking these rules before they even existed. We can appeal to literary usage by expert wielders of the English language such as Chaucer, Shakespeare, Austen, James Joyce, Mark Twain to name just a few. They’ve all had their fair share of grammatical ‘errors’.

There are examples throughout the history of the English language of many of these grammar rules being blithely broken by speakers. “Happy the man who has never been told that it is wrong to split an infinitive. The ban is pointless. Unfortunately, to see it broken is so annoying to so many people that you should observe it.”

Or as Geoffrey K. Pullum wryly translates it “this mythical & pointless prohibition against a natural syntactic construction has never been defended by any serious grammarian. But observe it anyway – because we’re scared of our readers.”

Black Creates Intense Color

Many families fail to thrive because of preconceived notions. When this happens you MUST be willing to overlook the person’s shortcomings & forgive. Be passive to their aggression. Or psychology in reverse. Relatives & siblings will fall at some point. Offer a helping hand. People who come from broken homes & broken families more than likely suffer from the gossip mill. “Kill others with kindness” simply means do not expect others to do what you would do. If we forego traditional values, we’ll open our eyes one day & won’t be able to recognize ‘our world’ anymore.

New LGTV Ad:

LG

“You taught me love Find Your way from Darkness” to whet Terrence Malick.

Or to quote Neil deGrasse Tyson “We live in an era where objective truths count as controversial subjects.” We are not nepotists (creatures of habit). We are creatures of routine sulking around the underworld finagling ballsacks. By the way, way in Spanish means Balls.

SANS UNDERDOG WE’VE NO STORY

In other words, without an underdog there is nothing to write home about. In other words, to hell with love for God cannot be seen. Weave your alias like an engraved chair extolling spurious virtue. Be the fountain of youth. Radiate. Vibe. In the botanical midnight gardens of good & evil; being Eden of course.

Is it sheer chance every superhero movie yields [to] an origin story? Origins or a birthright show the exact moment when a normal human being – or entity – goes from being Just Like Us to being somehow better, faster, stronger — choosing altruism over the pursuit of wealth & power. Fan girls as well as fan boys do remark on the inspiration they draw from superhero & superheroine tales; guidance geared toward unearthing our purpose / your calling.

The motif has been around for millennia: A Jane or Joe battles supernatural forces & returns home from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons.

In real life, many people experience “stress-induced growth” after a trauma & resolve to help others – becoming social activists.  My downfall can be simplified down to holding onto the bitter resentment of grudges causing me to be salty to my fellow man.

Discover the “Chosen” brethren — compel us to grow up sooner than we want to. Tap in our capacity for empath. Read between the lines. Mental illness is a hoax created by healthcare advocates to cloak your frown. Mental health for instrument of depression. Idle hands are the Satan’s playthings.

You will never worry about the last laugh if you never stop laughing in the first place. I need to change / revise / update / alter my domain to I Kid You Knot with a K. You do too.

[Alluding to 34 Aliases People Suggest]

When Pacifists Meet Pacifier

Political correctness is intellectual tyranny or un-American.  Haven’t you heard of the Marxist revolution? He was extradited / “ostracized” for the written word. After being ostracized, every known ex-patriot author, of any importance at that time, would gather around Marx, in a secluded area, where he was at the helm of a round table. They would talk psychology (or, homeopathology, using the written word) to fill in the wounds of the brain Mother Earth left behind.

The requirement of being a quote on quote star is to become an enslaved body. Just flesh — a commodity, & renounce all autonomous qualities in order to identify with the general law of obedience; a parent’s wet dream. The star is a byproduct of the machine age, a relic of societal ideals. If you meet me treat me like a person, not a potential trophy photo op you’d like to post online. The tediousness most people fail to discover is that the super duper famous get the same reaction from everyone, every time, everywhere. It’s anthropophagolagnia, which is the desire to rape & then eat another human being.

The quote on quote American is a master of appealing to the limbic brain, our primal carnalities. The ravings of a paranoid who constantly feels others are taking advantage of us.

Yeesh

America should be aghast with their finger pointing. Geo -not ego- political scheme to unite the U.S. by being us with a huge, singular gripe! Helping me helping you. Not Vice Versa.

The word Gripest is odd! The act of forcefully shoving grapes down the throat of an unwilling victim. Just imagine a family asleep in their respective bedroom. Meantime a gripest busts your door in, baggie in hand:

“IMMA GRIPE YOU IN DA MOUTH!”

The 1st tabloid star of the 20th century. (Perhaps named after the Grim Reaper). He remains the most notorious & enigmatic serial criminal in history who puts an intense urban spin on the horrific legend & unravels a chilling alleged conspiracy involving the most high; which is more PC than saying your highness.

Bi-Curiosity

Curiosity kills the cat?

Curiosity kills one cat. After 8 more attempts, the cat dies.

But no matter how many of those 9 lives it uses it is still a cat. We are people. Curiosity helps people seek the most powerful weapon in the game.

When we are bi-curious we besmirch; drown in, or with, glee. Curiosity kills the competition? All the less I am not one to commence the genocide run.

When the focus of curiosity is schadenfreude otherwise known as vanity, we distort reality forcing a wedge betwixt us & the globe. Setting impossible standards leaves us heartless judges sans reflecting in the mirror.

Don’t give me that curiosity kills the cat. Vain-glory kills cats. Meow.

Unfiltered judgment can get us into hot water. Curiosity kills the cat in us. Curiosity kills the kitten, then finds out it has 9 lives. Ideas coming going blossoming exposing wonderful new realities. Yet our minds spiral into the murk. Why? Pussy got your tongue?

Curiosity Kills but lack thereof may kill you faster than you think – inflating a raft for you to float on down shit creek sifting through shit canyon with the wind at your back.

Explaining my thought process is particularly problematic, especially if you’re talking with a pragmatic who wants you to deal strictly in numbers & facts. However, imagination is at the forefront of your world as psychic images & fleeting impressions flood our receptors. If your creative ideology isn’t granted enthusiastic reception now, hold until someone arrives who is capable to comprehend thy bold vision. French author La Rochefoucauld wrote, “Narrow-minded people generally condemn what is beyond comprehension.”

Tongue

Now I understand why people say that curiosity kills as you find out the truth it hurts more than not knowing at all.

Manifest the tiger. If you try to find out what all of the secrets of the world at once, you will strain the limits of your mind into over-exhaustion.

Curiosity kills cats the same way humidity kills runners. We’re snoopy & nosey like that. Cut it out before the kitty breaks you. Pay it forward. Fuck the 9 lives. Slow painful death. Walking dead. Curiosity kills cats in your grill.

Most intellectually stifling phrase a child can hear? Morbid curiosity scares the kitten half to death. Our mood swings are effed up no room for curiosity.

Curiosity Kills Cats Generosity Grows Men. I’m no cat. I will always be curious. Life’s catalyst won’t kill humans.

Mephobia

How do you know when you fill the olfactory gag quotient? When you put as much humor in as the tone of what you are doing will sustain. Your responsibility as a pioneer at the helm sets the tone. Drop the oddity, draw the line, lend heart, a degree of warmth. Fight for truth here, now, on the record.

What does Clean Comic entail? I am a clean cut, PG guy always will be always have been; I’m not a has-been though.

I love how comedians (rookie or novice) female or cis-male typically start their sets with I’m depressed. Or depression is … Or some view point or take on how to tackle said depression – as depression leads to suicide wheretofore 1 out of 4 are successful.

To whet the idiom there’s one in every family. One person insane enough to bring down the establishment! I’m not asking you if you have a crazy person in your family, but say I were, how would you define to me crazy?

I ask you to ask yourself: Will we figure out what we need to know before Earth is destroyed by some random miraculous terrifyingly beautiful act of our so-called Universe?

Thank your eyes, brain & body – your silent companion throughout life – for allowing you consciousness!

To see more than you did before in an extraordinary time period allowing you & your fellow pedestrian to study mysteries of existences so far away: aliens, nothingness, science, gods, paranormal.

Combine common knowledge with your own beliefs, & conspiracy theories: explore the depths of the mind’s eye as we are all made of the same molecules of galaxies.